Under Grace,
Martin
Friday, January 15, 2010
Loving the Unlovable
How did I know that I was loved by God today? At least for a fraction of the day, I was able to focus on a number of faces that were not my own. Left to myself, I would simply be all caught up with my own things: my own face, my own thoughts, my own words, my, my, my. To actually see something or someone outside of oneself is a good thing. To actually love something or someone else outside of oneself is a divine thing. I can't help but be self-centered by virtue of the fact that I am always with myself. Wherever I go, there I am. Who can save me from this body of death? From this perpetual orbit around my own pitiful persona? Thanks be to God who saves me through Jesus Christ and the command to love my unlovable neighbor as I love my own unlovable self.
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I've been burdened by my own self-centeredness in recent days. I want to decrease the time, energy, and attention devoted to myself -- yet it is paddling up-stream. My intentions are noble, but taking action is sporadic. Then, I hit this blog and was reminded of "being" before "doing." How do I know to what extent my "being" is self-centered inaction? Or to what extent I'm "doing" just to quench the guilt of feeling too "selfish"? My head knows the answer...Move as the Spirit moves, Be still as the Spirit grants me to be still. Ahh...but really living this way is the challenge.
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