Today

i was listening to someone speak and i heard the phrase
"i believe god's told me..."
i've heard that phrase before
sometimes i've used it
god-naming
little "g"
letting God know we've used His NAME in vain
the christian way
little "c"
letting Jesus know we like He's following us!
dear God!

so, as i was listening
i stopped listening
let my mind absorb words thrown at it
(with great speed)
stopped thinking
became still
silent
except for the music softly wafting through
the feces cloud sprayed within my car
(did i write that?)

my mind concluded
no, we do not trust God
do not hear the voice of God
through our voice screams
god-naming what we want Him to do within our lives
not listening because we can't hear
through life-noise of striving for gourmet food, desired shelter, styled clothing
not what He wants for us
not what YOU want for us, for me

Dear God
you do not say a lot of what we say you've said
"god said _________________" fill in the blank
i have heard, i think, the voice of God
and i'm alone
in silence
waiting
my journey and no one else

more to come